Your leadership identity

Having a portfolio career means I have the pleasure of interacting with lots of people, and organisations through my consultancy and coaching work.

Another benefit of this, is that I can take on the role of observer, and as someone who has a ‘thing’ for patterns, I’m really curious about spotting themes and patterns in my work.

I’ve noticed a theme recently with many of my clients around authenticity:

• I have to be a certain type of person to be leader
• People won’t respect me if they knew the real me
• I have to keep some of myself back to protect myself

These are all conversations I’ve had recently, and so — I’m going to attempt to unravel the mystery of authenticity, specifically, how to identify and nurture your authentic leadership self.

Getting comfortable with authenticity

Spend some time thinking about what your leadership identity means to you. Is it about showing all of you to the world? Is it about showing more of you? Is it about showing only the work you?

We often see articles about bringing your whole self — but what does that mean to you and are you comfortable with it?

My advice is that it doesn’t need to be all or nothing. Start with thinking about your starting point, how authentic do you feel you are showing up? What is getting in my way of being authentic?

As someone with a de-railer of perfectionism (work in progress!) I know when I’m not being authentic it is usually driven by a lack of self-confidence in a situation, feeling like I need to be a certain type of person to be seen as credible.

Actor vs Observer

One of the tools I use with coaching clients and in recruitment is the Hogan assessments.

One of the principles of the Hogan framework is to focus on the observer's view (what characteristics people may notice when they interact with you) rather than the actor's view (how you see yourself, how you intend to show up)

You don’t have to use a tool like Hogan to explore your characteristics, there are other ways to do this too, for example:

Let’s imagine you are a colleague, sitting in front of you…

Take a moment to answer the following questions, as your colleague, about you:

• In five words, how would you describe me on a normal working day?
• When I’m under pressure, what characteristics do you notice?
• When I’m relaxed and at ease, what do you notice?
• What do you notice motivates me? What do you think are my values?

Now, ask these questions of some trusted colleagues to explore the actor's view (how you think you are perceived, what you expect others to notice) vs the observer's view (what other people actually experience)

It’s helpful to remember here that we all have a bright side, and we also *all* have characteristics that can be derailers when they are left unmanaged.

Getting to know what other people experience when you are under pressure (as Hogan call it — our dark side) can help you to become more self-aware and develop strategies when it comes to managing your de-railers

Values Scanning

An element of coaching that I’m most drawn to is coaching through difficult work dynamics or relationships. Sometimes, an event has led to a ‘relationship wobble’ sometimes it can be harder to pinpoint, which could indicate a difference in values.

Your values are a central part of who you are. When you feel that your values need to be kept under wraps, or you have to work against them, this can get in the way of authenticity. Here are some ways to explore your values:

• A free online test: https://personalvalu.es/
• Think of some people you are inspired by, what values do you think you share?
• Think back to a role, or a project you felt deeply connected to — why?

Taking some time to think about your values can help you think about what’s most important for you when it comes to the kind of role, working environment and relationships that bring you satisfaction.

Am I stuck in a rut?

This is something I’ve often thought about in my leadership roles. Am I actually leading? Or am I just being me?

Situational leadership is a really helpful way to adapt your style to suit the situation you are presented with. It can ALSO help you to explore your default style too.

If we look at the graphic below, I can share that I think I am probably most comfortable in the ‘visionary’ space — which is authentic to me but it could mean I’m risking only serving myself by spending too much time here. I’m going with what I like to do — which is authentic but not always what’s needed. I’m less likely to spend time in the commanding space, but again, there’s a time and place for that.

I recently waved goodbye (or farewell for now as we landed on!) to a valued colleague who has moved into her own business full time. I asked for some feedback on what I could have done more of, and she shared that she would have liked a bit more direction at times. This was fascinating for me, as I reflected, I realised that I incorrectly lump command/control type behaviour with direction, and purposely step back from this unless I know the situation needs it.

Perhaps you could ask your team which leadership style they see most of from you, and what they would like to see more of from you?

Authenticity, with boundaries

Last but very much not least…authenticity isn’t about you becoming unfiltered or leading without intention or thought.

Brene Brown has shared some inspiring thinking on vulnerability, authenticity and their roles in leadership. One of the things I took away from reading one of her books a few years ago is that vulnerability isn’t about oversharing or leaking frustration in the wrong places.

Here are some tips if this might be a potential blind spot for you:

• Spend some time being more intentional in your interactions. If you’re feeling low on reserves, or you have a tricky meeting coming up – take 10 minutes to visualise how you want to show up, think about what might get in the way and what steps you can take in advance to help you
• Find an appropriate space to leak frustration. Working with a coach or a mentor can help you to explore your frustrations without judgement
• Take a moment. There’s a great quote somewhere about the most senior person in the room speaking last. It’s not easy but by taking a step back it helps to give you some time to be more intentional and listen with more depth to the people around you

The core of authenticity is the courage to be imperfect, vulnerable and to set boundaries – Brene Brown

Let me know what works for you. How do you keep an eye on authenticity?