How to communicate a decision you don’t agree with

It’s going to happen at some point in your leadership career — you’ve been asked to get behind and communicate a decision you disagree with.

In this article, I will outline five tips to help you communicate a decision — particularly if you don’t agree with it.

1) Start with you

Take some time to reflect on how you feel about the decision. This can help you pay attention to what emotions you might be connecting to this decision and how you might influence how it’s received.

Here are some questions to help you dig a bit deeper into your headspace:

• What will this decision mean for me?
• What am I set to lose? And to gain?
• How long will this decision affect me (short/medium/long term)?
• What assumptions might I be making about this decision? Can I set these aside?
• What do my team need most from me? What does my senior team need most from me? What does the organisation need most from me?

2) Prepare how you’ll communicate

Now that we’ve spent time digging deeper into how you’re processing the decision, it’s time to think about your team.

Naturally, you’re going to be pre-empting how your team will respond, and your team will want to hear it from you — research has shown that line managers are the preferred sources of implementation-related and job-relevant information during change.(1)

Here are some tips to help you plan for communicating the decision:

• Timing — what’s my window of opportunity to share this decision? When might the team be most receptive?
• Clarity — how can I explain this decision in clear and easy-to-understand terms? (Avoid words like ‘maybe/perhaps/possibly’)
• Facts — what details can I share to help explain the decision?
• Step into their shoes — how would the team want to receive this information?

3) Uphold the decision

Even though you may disagree with the decision, the decision has been made.

The critical thing — is not to undermine the decision or the people who made it. By upholding the decision with respect, you are role-modelling how to respond professionally to disappointment (and you never know when you’ll appreciate this response to one of your decisions!)

If you’re struggling to process the decision, here are some ideas:

• Talk it through with your support network, inviting them to challenge any assumptions you might be making
• Get together with your peers to agree on a unified approach and pre-empt any tricky questions or challenges
• Identify a mentor (someone who has more experience than you inside or outside the organisation) to share their learnings from similar situations
• Take some time to think about how you can authentically deliver the message. It’s okay to say, ‘I’ll admit, I struggled to get my head around this initially, but here’s why I’m supporting the decision’

4) The Three Rules of Trust

In her Ted Talk, Frances Frei talks about the Trust Triangle — the three things people need to trust you (2):

• Authenticity
• Empathy
• Rigour in your logic

The third point is particularly important when it comes to processing a decision. Even if someone doesn’t agree with a decision, if they can see rigour in the logic, then they are more likely to trust the decision maker.

Think about how you can honour the three rules of trust in your communication.

5) Be clear

The clearer you can be about the decision, the better. What is not going to change is just as important as what is.

Being crystal clear on what isn’t in scope can help colleagues to focus on the facts…rather than making assumptions about something that isn’t likely to change.

Wrapping the decision up in writing can help to keep things clear, for example:

• What’s changing and what’s not changing
• When the decision will come into effect
• What role do you need your team to play
• How the team can share their feedback/improvements to support the implementation
• How and when you’ll be back in touch with any updates

Final thoughts

In summary, for you to communicate a decision you disagree with — start with you, take time to prepare and plan, keep an eye on trust, and last but not least — support the decision makers.

I’d love to hear from you about what’s helped you to communicate decisions you don’t agree with. What advice would you share?

References:

1. Allen, J., Jimmieson, N.L., Bordia, P. and Irmer, B.E., 2007. Uncertainty during organizational change: Managing perceptions through communication. Journal of change management, 7(2), pp.187–210.

2. Frei, F.X. and Morriss, A., 2020. Begin with trust. Harvard Business Review, 98(3), pp.112–121.